Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Man Without A Cause

You wonder why my eyes are beautiful
Although no one has seen the salty seas behind these eyes
Or the river damns bursting when you withhold loving
Kissing you leads you to pull away
I’m funny
Because I believe your nature is merely nurture
Abo
I know you were raised without a father
So, why do you doom me to a similar fate?
When you’re neither here nor there
My compass stagnated on the last location I felt your paternal presence
And I, a fragmented woman who knows the pattern of a cycle
Try to remove my heart for it has severed me no use
But to clean the kitchen counter to which you have requested
Do I still care?
A loaded question to which the gun seems familiar but the bullets are confusing
Once again, I have licked these salty wounds decorating my eyes
But this time my blood pressure didn't rise
It’s my human condition
Trails, tribulations and new world problems
It is what it is
And I scream these words for it has regained meaning
So, I fall back to dissociating for association is to painful
To be part of you yet removed like cancer without diagnosis
I stand behind you for being next to you would be an insult
I stand behind you for being next to you would be too painful
I stand behind you for being next to you would remind you of your father
I stand behind you for being next to you would a remarkable honor
How can I say this to you?
For words escape these immature lungs
You are a man
But what good is it being a man when being my father is all I desired 

Hana Aw-Dahir
Copyright © 2013

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