-- I am the one, the murderer
The killer of my own dreams and ambitions
Self doubt and procrastination were my weapon of murder
I remember when i went on my self destructive rampage, it was during the winter of 0'7
Those cold winter days seemed endless and ever so lonely
I immediately fell into depression
Can you imagine being your own enemy
And people trying to protect you from yourself?
And hating yourself to the point of thinking constantly about suicide and death
No one could stop me or hold me back from my destructive path
I was sicken by the sight of joy and feeling nauseous by the hearing of love
My face would crack by slightest effort to smile
Life became bittersweet and gray
I've contemplated many times in ending this whirlpool or misery i call my life
But Alhmadoulilah, summer of 0'8 was a blessed and memorable one,
I picked up this beautiful green covered book with golden Arabic calligraphy, saying Al-Quran
This small yet powerful book helped me better myself in every aspect of my life
My depression , my anger, my hate, my sadness,were all gone, Ya Allah
I remember being told as a young one, when the hardship of life pushes you to your knees your in the best position to pray, SubhanAllah
Now, after cleansing myself inwards and outwards with Islam, I feel incredibly amazing and blessed
And living a MashAllah life of a true Muslimeen
By the grace of Allah, The Almighty, The Great
Mabsud Ali
Copyright © 2010
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