I’ve become the number one expert of running from bullets and bombs
Spending a bullshit lifetime in just in case and insha’allah
Surviving became my middle name
Building an invisible armor of protection around myself
To protect my stupid, soft, and fragile heart beneath
As I duck to dodge another bullet
A dance of survival becoming so routine that I can do it without missing a beat
A civil war behind me wherever I go
Peace for me is just rest between battles
The only life that I have ever known is one of bullets and bombs
I never seen the sweet bells and balls of my mother’s time
Yet, my stupid, soft, fragile heart says don’t give up, keep going, believe
Tomorrow will be beautiful
Tomorrow will be the best day ever
Tomorrow will be worth waiting for
War is a natural state of behavior for me
I am used to seeing the mines beneath the ground and know just how to get around them
Learning how to be more agile, more flexible, more clever
Growing stronger and stronger until like a diamond that I will never break
Never could get rid of my stupid, soft, and fragile heart but it stays hidden under security alarms
Alarms that scream for me to run before it is too late
Urging me to find safe shelter before another bomb explodes in the horizon
Yet, my stupid, soft, fragile heart says don’t give up, keep going, believe
Tomorrow will be beautiful
Tomorrow will be the best day ever
Tomorrow will be worth waiting for
Inside of me the promise of a breaking dawn that will erase the darkness
It calls me like a seductive siren of the day that I no longer have to run to escape
I knew I should have gotten rid of my stupid, soft, and fragile heart
Thrown the whole damn thing behind instead it keeps singing that goddamn song of hope
It sings a song that tells me to not give up, to keep going, to believe
It says life is a journey and it is not over yet
Trials and fire are needed to know the knowledge to build a future brighter
Yet, my stupid, soft, fragile heart says don’t give up, keep going, believe
Tomorrow will be beautiful
Tomorrow will be the best day ever
Tomorrow will be worth waiting for
That one day I will see peace with my own eyes
One day I will take off my surrounding armor of protection
My honest, true, pure, and faithful heart will be free
The surrounding peace blesses the earth and I will no longer have to escape
The bombs and bullets will disappear like a nightmare I can’t remember
The fires will be replaced with rivers of pure light
I will fall at God’s mercy and cry out Alhamdulillah!
That tomorrow was worth waiting for
Sindiya Darman
Copyright © 2011
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