April 2: Unwisely it could be

If my pride wasn’t so big I would tell you, that you saved me within

And if I was brave enough I would believe we would sin

And what the sin may cost, we would lose a lot of things.

The things we planned on committing

and I look at you because I’m up for submitting.

But my mind tells me no, but I keep on forgetting.

There’s no way I could change this now, 

no words to describe of how I’m feeling now.

How did I become so weak I used to be so strong?

Talking to you it didn’t last so long, but I was up for doing wrong.

Promising to satisfy me good, but surely I was being fooled

Thinking, making me start believing the future was mines,

and to share it with you for the rest of my life.

I can’t wait until I stop missing you,

but I hate that I’m slowly losing you.

This sort of drama I would run from but I can’t, 

my heart is going through the trauma.

I ended up disbelieving the rumours.

I knew deep down your words were lies, 

but I kept fighting my mind.

it was something I wanted to do to take the risk,

this type of situation would be taking the piss,

never thought I’d be sitting here saying I miss anyone.

Bet you ain’t one to care your dick likes a lot of women. 

Wishing I could be the one to hurt you, 

break you, make tears fall from you, telling you love isn’t a joke.

When I think about you I get choked up, 

hoping I wasn’t something for the fun of it.

I feel as though my feet are stuck in a pit,

see you never known how guilty I felt, I just feel so damn sick.

But you try to be everything being a charmer if only you knew then you was a heart breaker.

I never understood your purpose or you’re reasoning, to hurt me,

never understood your mind, should have caught up with those lies, 

but you seemed so beautiful and so divine. Silly me how could I be so blind.

Soon it will come when you’ve realize what you’ve done

I hope you enjoyed your fun

Oh how I’m so naive because I believed everything.

Your tongue gets you into trouble; you see you sounded so loving

But I’m left here with nothing, but you know what you did

your actions were done purposely, didn't even think how unwisely it could be

so I’m letting go my dear

may your thoughts and heart be at ease.

Or would you choose to continue on playing with me?

because I find it hard to believe you ever cared about me. 

Idil Mahamed

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