I Remember

I remember crawling under bed

Running outside in the middle of the night

Seeking comfort in friendly enemies

And strangers

All in the hopes of avoiding you.

I remember crying to bed night and again

Praying hard for help

My 10 year old mind asking

Why God isn't here yet

I cried and sobbed

I rebelled and hated

All in the hopes of numbing

The scars caused by you.

I remember finding comfort

In inflicting physical pain

Upon myself

All in the hopes of ceasing the emotional

And mental torture

You caused.

I remember not trusting

I remember the shame

I remember hating and blaming

Myself

I remember everything....

But most of all

I remember the fact that you

Have never apologies for your actions

And, although that would never change

The pain you caused me over the years

It would at least tell me

You are ashamed of your actions

That you were wrong

And, that you are seeking my forgiveness

For imprinting stubborn scars on my heart, forever.

Halima Ahmed

Copyright © 2011