Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Stuck in Fiction

ur thoughts are written novels waiting to be read
many haven’t been opened many haven’t been understood
and the true words are carried in the hood
a single woman with a child is a story to be heard a person who needs support.

and if my tears aren’t enough to tell you that I’m depressed then I only hope you carry on reading this
my words my thoughts my life is all a test
Allah watches how I fail and I only carry on making the same mistakes with the most regret, wishing only death was to come next.

What if this poem wasn’t enough to speak for everyone’s pain my pain my thoughts of what I’ve gain from my past what a messy past
I wish I could start life again and think how can this happen to any human.
that the ending was quite harsh that it still hurts.

Does this destined future of my misery happen to end now or the future
I’m I going anywhere in life
does the yellow brick road take me anywhere save
to a place where I can smile for a day to have hope and to keep on my faith.

if my scream isn’t enough to say I’m frustrated in life itself
if my facial expression isn’t known that I’m dead inside
if every book isn’t read then words aren’t heard at all of one’s personal diary who is about to break.
Thinking of things that they wish to fix or wish to say.

Every memory I have in my head if only I could write it all out
to finish my own novel of a poetic writer
within every word I’ll remember with every word a tear drops
I am one of the few who are lost in this generation.

I had it up to here with no patients and if a bullet was any fast enough I’ll take it hoping the pain doesn’t make me feel anymore sad that I won’t feel bad to leave now without a good bye
that I’ve never had a first love or a first anything and I’m everything which I choose to not be.

Now that I’m desperate for a new beginning a new start to my chapter in my book
I haven’t got a word to even say which is all blank but a blank page is what I am, I am a person who hasn’t discovered what she wants.
I am the words of this poem this is how I feel and that my heart aches
I know I’m lonely in this world.
Stuck in fiction and after every chapter the book is the misery you'll read but to this sudden sadness doesn't end.

Idil Ahmed Mahamed
Copyright ©2009

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