balance of the weight in life

This can’t be life
My mind wonders on
I’m impulsive seen as though I want so much more
Living life to the fullest
And what exactly would make me full to the stomach
Have I now got two minds westernize and a noble Muslim
I’ve never had a plan or goal
Preferred to be the dare Devil
And catch whatever that was meant to flow
But I can’t keep going with life with an unknown oath

So to the stars I wish to know my destiny
I feel guilty now knowing it’s written down
This sin I’ve done, I must prostrate to my Lord.
I’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed,
Suddenly I’ve urge and felt thirsty to do the most sinful things
I want to sin, seen as though sin has been corrupted on me
Devil and the angle battling to help my Indecisive mind
All I want is to find the sign somewhere in mind
My hands are in chains,
locked up from actions I would not care to do

From a day today I know someday I’ll break down
And it’s been years I’ve cried
I know now if I don’t pick a path
I’ll forever be lost
Talking to myself, this can’t be a sign of insanity
Or just words I wish to say, picturing days I wish to come
What is it that I want, will the wild life of a partying drunk fulfil me
Will me being a mother and wife, be more fulfilling enough

I don’t know what I want, and this is it a confusion raging mind
A sign in my dreams would help, a guard to success
I don’t know, I’ve been afraid to question,
but how much can one take with the tests of the world
I can’t keep going down and fix myself up to keep going again.
I’ve very little patients, and anger has haunted its way.
I only want to know will saddening burden be the unfortunate event in my future once again.

So must I just forget, and how about the past can’t be forgotten. I’m in a spider web of the oddest situation.
This world I don’t think I can take so seriously,
I’ve living mostly based on misery

For I have been in prison in this world and with my Lord. Changing emotions driving me insane, but I can’t complain all though it has brought a sudden pain.

Idil Ahmed Mahamed
Copyright ©2010