Sunday, April 22, 2012

Reflecting on the Man I've Become

I look back and think about the man I could’ve been//
The ideal self that isn’t me//
I look back on women that I’ve loved//
Casually, physically or through blood//
My passion is slipping//
I don’t know why I am existing//
Trynna find meaning in my religion//
Life’s blurred with ugly vision//
The money I could’ve made //
Or the money I could’ve saved//
My friends are in their graves//
My mother is in the same//
I don’t know why I ever changed//
Do I have a right to ever complain???
I manage to avoid that pain//
I laugh and joke about the past//
While people enjoy the new Zack//
And they tell me I’m so relaxed//
And they tell me I'm so social//
Than for a second I feel normal//
Than we talk about our families//
And our histories//
And our losses//
And our victories//
And then I realize that who they see isn’t me//
And I look back and think about the man that I couldn’t be//

Zack Ahmed
Copyright © 2012

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